Saturday, March 24, 2012

Thoughts at Thirty Six Weeks

I am so excited. That pretty much sums it all up.


Belly at 35 weeks, March 15th 2012

As we quickly approach the 37 week mark next Thursday and I've stopped dilating for a few weeks now I feel the giddy anticipation of meeting my son without any hesitation. I walk down the hallway that connects all of our bedrooms and every bone in my body rejoices soon we will be complete. My heart is full and very soon so will be my home.

At my checkup this week I had an ultrasound to check on Travis, the placenta & the fluid nothing ultra exciting like finding out the sex or having a 3D ultrasound and staring at a little face but still so very magical. I laid there in wonder that inside of me was a new life. As she checked everything off with a looks good I found myself responding "perfect" as if it was his first test and I was the proud Mama that he was passing with flying colors.

As she measured his belly she said "He has a big belly. He's a fat baby!" and I laughed. Mitch has been certain all along that this child is going to more Mitch-sized than Monica-sized. I myself am a mere 5'1'' and my husband is 6'5''. My boys have both been born at 7lbs 11oz with Garrett being a week late and Owen being a week early. She then informed me that Travis is already measuring at 7lbs 1oz. I gasped "oh my."

Yes, I know that this is an estimate but this estimate coupled with the severity of my sciatica this pregnancy, my extreme uncomfortableness right now that I didn't experience with the boys until much later, the fact my belly has been measuring big and the observation of Mitch that I'm as big now as when I delivered the other boys has me bracing for a larger than 7lbs 11oz baby this time.

I went back to the waiting room so I could then see my doctor and there was a Dad waiting with his baby in a stroller. Not anything uncommon. A nurse came out to talk to him and I shamelessly eavesdropped as he beamed that his son was now huge at 7lbs 4oz as he carefully pulled back the canopy and blankets that protected his little one on this dreary rainy day. You see he was born 7 1/2 weeks early at only 4lbs. I gathered that this little guy was a champ and has not had any complications but they are still watching Mama and getting her back to full health.

I first marveled that the child inside of me is likely not much smaller than the baby I was laying eyes on and then counted my blessings that we have been so very fortunate during this pregnancy.

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Rainbow at 36 weeks (appeared as we were walking home from Garrett's Open House) , March 22nd, 2012

I have a faint memory of sitting in the airport with Mitch as we were waiting to board our flight to Montego Bay just shy of 10 years ago. I was watching a family wait for their flight to some unknown location. There was a mother of four and as I became an observer of her life my heart was filled with joy.

The faint memory leaves a strong impression that I knew then I wanted a house full of children's laughter and love. Of course, we were just beginning our life together, the flight we were waiting to board was going to take us to our wedding and as if a dream I remember Mitch thinking that four kids was crazy!

Two and half years after that moment we welcomed Garrett into our lives and to be honest I don't remember much of the first year of his life. Thankful for pictures that help take me back to that life changing, beautiful, crazy year we learned how to be parents.

And then we waited to be blessed with a second child. Turns out the Lord's plan and ours were not exactly the same and through the course of 2 years we experienced much uncertainty, loss and heartache. We took a year to heal and were then blessed with the anticipation of Owen's arrival.

Although several years had passed I still held in my heart the dream of a house full of children's laughter and love. Of course, as a seasoned Mom I now understood those two things also come with screams, tears, chaos and in my house lots of noise. While I now agreed with Mitch that I personally could not handle raising 4 children with both of us working outside the home I felt I needed just one more.

Despite the fear of the unknown and after much conversation Mitch & I decided that we would go for it.

This time my heart was free from the desperation of needing to be pregnant after so much loss and I truly turned this journey over to the Lord. Because I had not always had an easy road carrying a pregnancy to the second trimester I did not want to try to add to our family past the age of 35. Knowing statistically that risk increased after 35 coupled with my tender heart I knew that was the end of the road for me.

I went into it with a if it happens it happens mentality and my heart was content to find my family complete and praise the blessings the Lord had given me if it didn't happen.

This morning I sit here 8 months away from my 35th birthday and less than a month away from the arrival of my third son and



ruth said...

Blessings to you! I found your blog through Project Life and am so glad I did!

I too am a mom of 3 boys. My eyes filled with tears that I could not contain as I read your post.

Those days seem so long ago now, but vivid memories popped back to me. I think I need a little quiet time to go and journal.

I'm on the other end of that amazing journey. My 3 boys are now grown. Last fall the older two both married amazingly wonderfully hand picked by God girls, whom I love dearly. Did I mention that they married 6 days apart? Yeah, long story on that one. And in between my youngest moved into his first home. Yes, in the week between. LOL Boys!

Life with boys is an amazing adventure filled with excitement, love and challenges sometimes too.

I'm excited for the journey you are already on and for what lies ahead of you. Many, many blessings to you!!!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 4.

Jamie said...

This is so awesome, Monica! Brings me some tears of joy for you.

purpledaisy said...

this blog totally touched my heart monica! needed to hold back my tears. i too have had difficulities with my pregnancy. we had our first girl, Arianna at 29wks, she was 2lbs and she is one healthy happy loving 16mth 21lb baby (who'd know she was born a premie?). we tried for our second, and loss Alexander at 19wks, we had him buried at a cemetary close to our home. I'm expecting again with my last, a baby girl due in August and we are soo excited to be able to carry her to full term with all prevention in place. I would love to have 3 kids but the experience has not been the greatest. due to age (turning 35 in 7mths) and health, we have decided God truly blessed us with our 2 girls, and alexander very close to our heart. good luck with your preganany and i'm sure Travis can't wait to meet his awesome parents and his two amazing brothers!
on another note...i heart your project life! i started mine in January also..and if i say so myself, i heart it too! Arianna would see her pictures in it and all she could do is give me a HUGE smile! :) take care!!

Nirupama said...

Many blessings to owen, you and your sweet family. Thank you for sharing this, motherhood is a hard journey. Your courage is inspiring and my heart is filled with joy knowing that you and your little one are doing so well now.

Nicole said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now, but this is my first time commenting. I just had to tell you that this is a beautiful post and it's obvious that it came straight from the heart. It's especially amazing because it's obviously touching the hearts of people in all different stages of life. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and have been trying for our first baby for over a year. I miscarried in the 6th week of my first pregnancy about a year ago and we've been trying since with no luck so far. Your post reminds me yet again that we are working on God's schedule, not our own, and I have to have faith and take comfort in that. Thank you so much for adding a little extra brightness on my Sunday morning. Sending blessings and good healthy baby vibes your way!

Jenny Meyerson said...

Lovely Monica. I'm so excited for his arrival and for you to meet him. This was just beyond touching.
I'm so happy for you. I love how babies are loved and prayed for long before they are born. He is already immeasurably blessed to have you as his mom. Keep us all updated!

Heather Leigh said...

I was "done" after three as well. And then when I was 37, I had number four...totally unplanned, and to be honest, not exactly something I found myself looking forward to. He'll be two on Thursday and I could NOT imagine my world with out him in it. He completed our family in ways I didn't know were incomplete. We call him Mr. Perfect, the name we gave him when he was barely a week old, and it still holds true. :)

Wishing you a smooth delivery and a fabulous summer with your three boys (I have three boys, too!)