Project Life 2012: Week 3

Hello friends! Before I jump into sharing more of my Week 3 that was shared on Becky's blog today I wanted to say Thank You. I appreciate the comments that were left on my last post and sent via Facebook/Twitter. The great news is that last week's checkup was fantastic. All is well with Travis & I'm still taking it easy to make sure this little guy goes full term.

There were so many of you that related to the Superwoman Complex part of the post. It was so very hard for me to hit the post button. Blogging is such a strange thing sometimes. As I type on my computer I write to an unknown audience and that serves as an invisibility cloak for me. This false anonymity usually allows to write my heart without pause.

But this post was different. I was very.much.aware. that those who see me in daily life may be reading and that left me extremely open & raw.

Brene Brown recently wrote about her experience speaking at TED a few weeks ago and how vulnerability impacted her. She wrote "Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me." When I read that this weekend it definitely struck a chord deep within me. Please know that you are not alone and that this is not unique to the Mom who works outside of the home, the Mom who works in the home or the Mom who has dedicated her life to her family and household. We are all impacted by society's expectations and our own self talk in so many aspects of life.

My guess is that many of you checking in today are battling some self talk about being "behind" on this project. {Sidebar: The words "behind" & "caught up" are like nails on a chalkboard to me} The community that has grown around Project Life is amazing & it's wonderful to have so many like minded people participating. However, the other edge of the sword is that there is so much out there to compare & measure yourself against. It is hard not to be tough on yourself when you follow weekly posts of layouts and you have weeks that are yet to be complete in your album.

I believe that Project Life is more than a completed album. I believe that Project Life facilitates living your life with your eyes open and most weeks your heart full. Yes, it is amazing at the end of the year to have a complete album but for me the real benefit & purpose of Project Life is cultivating a good life by simply being aware and showing up.

So, if you've missed a few weeks I say let it go and start fresh with this week. Since I'm not sharing weekly these days I thought I would let you guys see where I'm at in hopes of giving someone encouragement.

Complete & Shared: Weeks 1, 2 & 3
Complete & Not Shared: Weeks 4, 7 & 8
Pictures Printed & Journaling/Inserts in Progress: Weeks 5 & 9
Pictures Printed: Weeks 6 & 10

You can see I'm jumping around a bit and that is OK. I'll be honest, I'm avoiding WK6 because I'm overwhelmed by the volume my Day in Life created in that week. I'm leaning towards working on my main pages without the Day in Life insert so I can get over this hurdle.

If you remember my advice in January was to determine what your base level is and let that define your "success". You can see that my base level is taking pictures and printing them. I can sincerely say that I do not consider myself behind even with 4 out of 10 weeks still in progress because of how I define my base level.

So, as promised, here is a closer look at Week 3 of 2012.

Something I did differently this year was prefill my album with journaling cards from Clementine & Cobalt. I was a little worried about whether or not this random placement would end up working most weeks & I'm happy to report that it has. In fact, I've found it encourages me to keep it simple & just start my journaling. So happy I did this.

I think my favorite page protector this year is Design F. This week I used it to hold all the Instagram pictures from the week and it made it so easy. To keep a cohesive look I pull lined & graph paper from my stash and cut multiple journaling cards from them.

Another favorite page protector is Design G. Love the addition of just a few vertical pictures. I took the kids to the Aquarium on MLK day and loved being able to include our trip in one insert. My focus was truly on the pictures so I simply added one journaling spot for the entire insert.

This year I have embraced my love as labels as journaling spots. Find what works for you & repeat, repeat, repeat. It makes this so much easier. I'm also LOVING these bags from Michelle Wooderson. It is so nice to slip in a journaling tag in the bag for stories that I don't necessarily want the casual viewer to read.

Here is a list of all supplies used:

Becky Higgins Clementine & Cobalt Core Kits *The Cobalt Kit is available
Becky Higgins Design A, F and G Page Protectors *Design G Page Protectors are available
Becky Higgins 3x4 Grid Journaling Cards *Available and one of my FAVORITES
Martha Stewart Home Office Labels
Elle's Studio Lil Snippets: Labeled, Everyday Tags
Mish Mash Chevron Bag
White Tag
Cosmo Cricket Tiny Type
Sassafras Cardstock Stickers
October Afternoon Rocket Age Decal Alpha Stickers
Octoer Afternoon Boarding Pass Alpha Stickers
Studio Calico Stamps & Alpha Stamps
Typewriter


Please let me know if you have any questions. Have a wonderful week!

Monica

Finding My Way

I've been writing this post for a few weeks now in my head but can't seem to find the story. I tend to overthink everything and not finding the story, the lesson, the message in the thoughts that are running through my head is pure chaos.

I've been off balance. It's hard to be intentional when you can't get your feet under you. When your mind flits from thought to thought. When what you need to be doing and what you really need to be doing are in constant conflict with each other. And so I retreat. I disconnect and remove myself from the very support systems that I should be reaching out to.

I am very good at disconnecting, I am not good at reaching out. There is only one person in my life that I trust will always catch me when I'm falling. Luckily he is my partner in life. But even with him I have a hard time simply saying "I need help".

It's hard to break a lifetime, or as long as my memory serves me, habit of extreme self reliance. I problem solve on my own. I have a Superwoman complex. Usually I'm able pull it off.

But these days its just not working. I'm struggling and those sweet friends who have noticed something is off have reached out. The husband who knows, he always knows, is stepping in and taking over. Still, I struggle. I'm not good at letting go. I'm not good at accepting help. I'm not good at not being Superwoman.

Starting in early February stress kept washing over me & I finally reached a breaking point. In an attempt to get a grip I listened to the song "Take My Life" by Third Day on near constant repeat. The lyrics "Please, take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to you, Jesus" were a prayer straight from me to God. My prayer has most certainly been answered.

A few weeks ago Owen came down with a nasty virus & fever that eventually led to an ear infection. There is nothing that slows you down more than having a 21 month old glued to you for 108 hours.

Once his antibiotics kicked in I was back to work and while definitely a calmer version of the recent me I was still going at a pace that was likely too fast. Midweek the virus that took over Owen hit me and I ignored it. Foolishly I tried to power through and was at my sickest last Saturday.

On Sunday morning I ended up calling the on call doctor due to some possible signs of preterm labor. I was told to take it easy & follow up with my doctor on Monday but to call again if anything got worse. At this point we thought this was related to my virus and violent cough. To my surprise on Monday my nurse told me my doctor did want to evaluate me to make sure everything was OK. It was only then I really got the message that I.must.slow.down.

On Tuesday we learned that Travis is trying to pull a fast one & my body is already making progress towards his arrival. I was lucky that I was not dilated any more than I was or else I was going to be "restricted". I've been asked to backoff of everything for the next few weeks so that we get to a point where my doctor will not try to actively stop labor. On Thursday I was 33 weeks & Mitch and I will count ourselves blessed if Travis stays in utero until at least 37 weeks.

Mitch has been nothing short of amazing at home. He already does so much around here, the finances, the menu planning, the pets, the grocery shopping, the tidying up and is very active with the boys. Without a word, except for me to rest, he has taken on all of my household responsibilities as well and has been coming home early from work to help with the boys in the afternoon. That my friends is true love.

Sitting here I realize I wasn't able to put any of this down before now because my story wasn't finished, the lesson had not been learned. It has taken the entire month for me to truly come to terms with the truth that I am not Superwoman and that is O.K.

Often I am asked, how do you "do it all" (whatever that means)? I quickly reply that I don't, because I don't, and share how much of the load that Mitch carries, how much we are partners in this life. However, what the last month has shown me is I'm not being 100% honest with myself.

I expect myself to "do it all" (my own personal all) because 70% of the time I am successful at being the boys primary care giver, contributing at home, and making time for my passions all while working full time outside the home in a high stress job.

The other 30% of the time, when I find that I can't power through, I let everyone down. Not because I'm not "doing it all" , they could careless if I "do it all" but because I don't know how to ask for help when I'm sinking. I don't know how to recognize my own limits. I don't know how to let.it.go. I always thought that this only impacted me (attitude/health/quality of life) but after several heartfelt conversations with Mitch I've realized that it does impact the ones I love the most in small and big ways. It took a potential threat to Travis' health for my heart to accept this truth.

So the last few days I've taken my husband's advice to heart and determined what is most important. I'm working on letting go of what isn't getting done and focusing instead on keeping in good spirits and getting in lots of rest for not only Travis or the kids or Mitch but also for me. I'm also working on trusting that when that friend or relative offers help their words are sincere and I'm learning to say yes.

So, if it's a bit quieter around here please know that I'm just working on being intentional about slowing everything down and that is a very.good.thing. I hope you had a wonderful Saturday.

Monica

Project Life 2012: Horizontal Journaling Cards & a Valentine Share

Hello! Did you hear that there are horizontal journaling cards available at Jessica Sprague? Right now they are in digital format but that did not stop me from using them in my album.

This weekend I was working on week 7 and had an extra 4x6 slot in my Design G which is where I was telling our Valentine's Day story. I really love this page protector. It's the perfect mix of horizontal & vertical 4x6 slots with just a few 3x4 slots thrown in. I also love that it is not a 12x12 so it doesn't hide my main pages.

Here is a close up of the 3x4 horizontal journaling cards inside my page protector. I used both Cobalt & Clementine I really am enjoying mixing these two Editions. I had two separate stories to tell so I knew I wanted to different cards. One was longer than the other so I was able to include a photo with my second story.

Here we are out of the page protector. I actually printed both journaling cards on one 4x6 slot because I didn't want to worry about the cards slipping around or having to find a creative way to keep them together. Nice and simple, exactly what I need!

The absolute best thing about these horizontal cards being digital is they never run out of stock!! It was amazing to watch the Project Life inventory sell out so fast at Amazon this weekend. It makes my heart so very happy to know there are so many of you out there telling your life story.

Why does this excite me? Well, this article, Your Life is Newsworthy, posted at Shutter Sisters this week by Erika Ray articulates it much better than I can right now. My favorite quote from her post is this:

"But it’s my love of an honest story and my desire to remember every detail. And those are the types of photographers and photographs I’m attracted to. I don’t have a disgust towards coffee mug shots, landscapes or posed newborn shoots, but those images don’t make my heart beat faster. I want a photo that tells the story of someone’s life. I want raw emotion. And in my family, I’m the storyteller. Why should I let anyone else tell my story?"

This year I didn't include a ton of Valentine stuff. But I know that many of you are likely working on Week 7 or will be soon so I wanted to share what I did last year which included a bit more.

You can see the full set over here, at Flickr and read about the details of this week over here, in my archives.

With that my friends I'm signing off as I have yet again another busy day ahead. Hope all is well in your world.

Monica

Project Life 2012: Week 2 and a Little Something Extra

Hello! The weekend was good for me and much chocolate has been consumed. Saturday I completely unplugged from work & enjoyed the family while attacking laundry. Sunday I snuck in bits of work early morning (think 4:30AM) when the family wasn't awake so the kids remained oblivious to the fact that I had to bring work home this weekend. My time is theirs & I like to keep it that way.

In other news Garrett had a Karate tournament on Saturday and won first place in his form & in sparring. So very proud of him since we had a big talk this week about my investment of time during the week (class on Wednesday & Thursdays) and the necessity for his time outside of class to reflect his own personal commitment. We really try to teach the boys, especially Garrett, the value of time through our actions. Activities that don't increase the overall quality of life don't get much of our time. I would love for them to grow into men who see their investments of time much more valuable than their investments of money. I digress. We saw a good increase in practice at home & it paid off this weekend. Love when life lessons work out that way :)

As I type it's Sunday evening (I should have had this post drafted a week ago!) & now that the kids are asleep I still have a few tasks to mark off my list for tomorrow. So my friends this will be a picture heavy, word light post since my eyes are ready to close.

First up to share is Week 2 of 2012. I can already tell its going to kill me to not add lots of words to this post. Moving on....

There will be a full supply list at the end but I LOVED working with Cathy Zielske's 6x12 Photo Templates. Super easy to use & I was able to include several shots of Garrett's belt testing in an insert. I went completely digital on this particular template. I'm branching out!!

The other side of the insert uses another template from the 6x12 Photo Template. I tried so hard to keep this one 100% digital using just a background paper for the journaling squares but it just felt too flat for me. So instead I used the digital Cobalt Edition Journaling Cards and the Clementine Edition Journaling Cards for my journaling squares but instead of printing my journaling on the cards I left them blank so I could handwrite it.

I wanted the journaling to be on cardstock so when I went to print my file I hid the picture layers and then printed them separately so I could layer on. Essentially, I printed only the journaling block layers on cardstock, went back and printed only the photo layers on photo paper and then brought it all together with my handwritten journaling. I was so pleased I took the extra little time, it felt so much more like me.

I'm really loving Page Protector Design G for the mix of horizontal & vertical pictures.

Since I was feeling a bit confident in my digital skills I decided to give my blog banner a much needed facelift. I used elements from the Clementine Edition Full Elements to add a little extra to my standard blog banner format. If you are not visiting the site go ahead and click over. I love the new look!

If you have any questions please ask, especially since I was light on words (for me) today. Not sure if I'll check in again this week but here's hoping I do!

Supplies:
Becky Higgins (Page Protector Design A, Page Protector Design G and 6x12 Page Protector, Clementine Edition, Cobalt Edition, Turquoise Cardstock, Clementine Digital Edition, Cobalt Digital Edition)
Cathy Zielske (6x12 Photo Template)
Cosmo Cricket (Chipboard Letters Iron Port)
Basic Grey (Micro Mono Stickers Life of the Party)
Jenni Bowlin (Reverse Brown Stickers)
EK Punch
White Labels
Studio Calico (Scrap Pad, Stamps, Alpha Stamps, County Fair January Kit)
Recollections (Tag Punch)

Monica

Buried

This will be my only post this week. I'm simply buried alive right now. How do you like my kitchen?

That was last night. Right now it is pristine because it was cleaning lady day. Thank goodness.

Life is running over me right now so it will likely be quiet here until I can get a grip. Boy do I need a grip. Usually when life gets like this a nice glass (or two) of wine turns me back into a pleasant person but seeing is how that isn't an option these days I'll just take a few deep inhales & exhales (perhaps a little chocolate) and pray it works for my sake and for the sake of those around me. You laugh? Oh how easily I can cross over to the dark side.

I will be back Monday to share a Project Life layout. And just so you don't think it's all doom & gloom. Yesterday I played along in pictures with Ali Edward's Day In the Life. I am so thankful I did. I adore quite a few of the pictures I captured and I've only looked at the ones off my phone.

Did you know that if you put your phone in airplane mode you can Instagram pictures without having to share them on Instagram? Awesome. There are parts of my work life that I can't share publicly and it was fun that even though I went out to a client I was able to capture that part of my day without worrying about confidentiality. Very cool.

In other news we had our 4D ultrasound of Travis today and it was fun to see how similiar he looked to Owen and Garrett. They will definitely be a little band of brothers. The real goodness is that everything looks perfect at Week 30.

He is going to be here before we know it. I can hardly wait!!

Monica