Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Truth of the Matter

is that yesterday a piece of my heart broke off and went off into the world without me. Our family entered a new era with both boys starting their daytime care routines & family responsibilities being divided once again between Mitch & I. This week we are all in training for my return to work next Monday.

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We all knew, except Owen, that this day would come & decided it was best to ease into the new routine before I actually left the house. Logically I knew this was the right decision but yesterday my heart just wanted to keep my boys with me as long as I could.

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After we walked Garrett to school Mitch & I prepared to take Owen to the sitter. We hadn't even pulled out of the garage when the tears started to come in full force. I was able to pull myself together for the actual drop off but once we were in the car I lost it. I am ever so grateful I had my fabulous husband there to drive me home.

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It must have been my subconscious that left my bag at the sitter's so that I could go see my baby one more time. As I walked in I heard him crying & saw that they were struggling with the bottle. She & I agreed since I was there it was best just to nurse him. My heart rejoiced at this unexpected time together.

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Knowing that I was going to be heartbroken I had made a date with Garrett for lunch. I was so happy to see my big guy. Thank goodness he's still young enough that he lets me kiss & hug on him in public.

Shortly after our lunch date I was back at the school so that I could watch him being transferred to his after school care. I had shared with his teacher that I would be doing this so I didn't surprise her with my stalker-like tendencies. As I saw them walk across the grass holding hands I could hear Garrett say "That's my mama's car."

After I saw him off safely I went home to bide my time until I could collect my boys. Being the crazy lady that I am I called his after school care to check in. Once I realized there was a mix up I went to get my guy early. Once everything was settled we celebrated with ice cream on our way to pick up Owen.

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I was so relieved to hear that Owen had set the record for the best first day. True to his nature he was a happy guy all day. They eventually figured out the bottle together & without noisy dogs to wake him up he took good long naps in the crib.

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In the end my boys fared much better than I did yesterday. And that is what you want as a mother, to raise happy, secure, well adjusted children that go out into the world & do great. I just wish it didn't take such a toll on my heart.

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I wouldn't have made it through the day without the unconditional love, support & patience of Mitch who took each & every one of my calls with a smile in his voice.



Anonymous said...

What a day! I remember that from years ago. Good for you ... and Mitch. I can't believe how big Owen is getting. You have such gorgeous boys :) Good for them being so good-natured and adjusting easier than mama.

Barb said...

Oh Mon, you're tugging at MY heartstrings too. I'm glad you made it through the day okay. And I'm with Lee on being surprised at how BIG Owen is already! Wow!! Both your boys are very handsome... great photos, mamma! <3

Kim said...

Going back to work and taking your children to daycare is certainly tough. (I did it three times.) Luckily, the little ones adjust pretty easily. They may goes through a phase of crying when you leave, or something else, but it's always temporary. Best wishes!

carabecca said...

Oh, the first day sucks big time. It will get a little better. For me, I just think about how happy Henry is to see me when I go to pick him up :) Makes the drop-off a bit easier. Hugs!

angela said...

Monica, I remember feeling the same way when my kids were babies and I was going back to work..such a hard time for me. It will be fine.

April said...

Oh big hugs, Monica. My heart hurts just reading your entry. I will be praying for you this week and next until it's back into some sense of routine for you.

Linda Barber said...

Aw! Making me a little teary. You are such a good mommy. I'll be thinking of you guys on Monday! And sending you the biggest hug!

Christi said...

1) your kids are SO cute!!
2) you look awesome!!
3) owen is absolutely adorable in that hat!! :-)
4) just reading this made me about start crying (have to fight it since i'm at work - lol)...

Melanie said...

Oh Monica, your boys are adorable! I am sorry that you had a hard time leaving Owen. Baby Owen looks just like Mitch.

Mitch is a keeper isn't he?

Good luck next week when you go back to work.

Barb said...

Hey Monica, I'm back again... I'm wondering how you're doing with your new routine.
Thinking of you and sending a hug. <3

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