Looking Back & Forward | a series of pictures & words

I tried to write this on Monday night but it was more important to find my happy in some Blue Bell Cherry Vanilla ice cream and conversation with my husband.

{Owen sneaks into Garrett's room every chance he gets.}

I tried to write this Tuesday but all I wanted to do when I got home is hold Travis and after all the babies were in bed and all the chores were done I was exhausted and asleep before 10 PM.

{Garrett was so excited to camp out in the living room.}

I tried to write Wednesday morning coffee in hand with 30 minutes to spare before work but that was only enough time to start.

{All three boys with a few dogs thrown in.}

 

So today I write with some perspective instead of the raw emotion of the first day.

pause, long pause

{We were all hanging out in Travis' room and the older boys were playing nicely.}

One thing has remained all week, I don't know which way is up.

{By all counts this is a terrible picture, except it captures my boys and I see a glimpse of the future.}

The truth is staying at home with the boys is the hardest work I've ever done.
The truth is staying at home with the boys is the most rewarding work I've ever done.

 

{Owen & my father in duet.}

The truth is going back to work is hard on my husband.
The truth is going back to work means lunch dates with him again.

 

{Owen is all about positive feedback. He was clapping for himself here after his lovely song.}

The truth is I want the best life for my family and right now that means me contributing financially to our future.
The truth is our best life is always evolving.

 

{Travis loves the blue octopus. He talks to him regularly.}

The truth is it was really nice to see a lot of friendly faces from the office.
The truth is being a mother that works outside the home is the most confusing, contradictory, difficult place for me to be.

 

{Gathering Garrett's laundry I found this. When my husband told him we could buy him shorts with pockets Garrett told him "Why? I can make them."}

The truth is I will likely miss the first time Travis rolls over and a lot of other firsts.
The truth is my boys seem to thrive in their time away from home.

 

{He looks so big. Is there a flash of a teenager?}

The truth is I am fortunate to have a good job that has respected my priorities.
The truth is I am good at my job and when I find myself deep into a task I enjoy it.

 

{The love bomb.}

The truth is by having space away from my boys during the day my time with them at home is precious and I cherish it.
The truth is when I was at home with the boys my patience was tested and I didn't always cherish it as I should.

 

{Our first breakfast out as a family of five.}

The truth is my husband grounds me.
The truth is I'm not the only one adjusting.

 

{OH my, the chub.}

The truth is nothing makes my heart sing more than seeing my kids happy.
The truth is seeing their smiles at the end of the day is the best part of my day.

 

{Garrett loved Lego camp. So cool.}

The truth is I don't have all the answers to the master plan.
The truth is I spend a lot of time trying to figure it out.

 

{Soaking in the snuggles.}

The truth is envy is a theif of joy and it is no longer welcome in my life.
The truth is I am responsible for the energy I bring into my life.

 

{Travis is finally showing signs of movement. It won't be long before he rolls over.}

The truth is tears come easy.
The truth is laughter is the best medicine.

 

{I've loved seeing the light in my home throughout the day.}

The truth is I have a diverse group of mothers surrounding me.
The truth is the summer has shown me that we all have more in common that appears on the surface.

 

{Hilarious. There are all sorts of "community" toys at the pool. He cracks me up.}

The truth is I strive to live an authentic life.
The truth is I miss my babies.

{Mr. Mischief}

The truth is whether I'm home all day or not I love my boys like crazy.

The truth is whether I'm home all day or not they love me like crazy too.

And this my friends wraps up my reflections on maternity leave. If you would like to read the complete series you can find all posts here.

Monica

Looking Back & Forward | a series of pictures & words

The last week is a blur. I'm not sure exactly what was accomplished or where the time went. I do know that it was a good blur. I really enjoyed my children. I found myself sitting more without my mind racing to the next item on the list.

{Owen is our little mother. Here he was either telling me that "Travis is very crying" or he was telling me "You take care of Travis."}

Looking back through my pictures it is apparent I didn't pick up the camera much at all.

{Saturday S'Mores on a Sunday after the littles went to bed. We don't get a lot of time with just Garrett. }

And that is OK. It's OK to walk away from the documenting to be still in the moment.

{Travis hanging out outside watching Owen scooter. Awesome.}

Tomorrow our new normal begins and my heart is anxious.

{Saturday S'Mores with the littles. Owen was very focused on the task.}

Tonight I have no words maybe tomorrow.

{Mitch & Travis bonding.It's hard for Mitch to get one on one time with Travis with Garrett and Owen being more vocal about their demands on his time.}

Monica

This post is a series of posts that highlights my reflections on maternity leave and my thoughts leading up to going back to work. You can read all of the posts in the series here.

Looking Back & Forward | a series of pictures and words

They bring out the best in me.

{We celebrated 10 years of marriage this summer.}

Yesterday I was in charge of pickup from Lego Nanobot Camp at high noon and the littles & I had an appointment to visit their new school at 10. When we left the school at 11 I thought it would be smarter to just run an errand while we waited for camp to finish instead of driving back home.

{A trip to the zoo with all three boys. They kept trying to get as close as they could to the animals.}

So after we loaded crazy amounts of dollars of diapers into our cart I let Owen run around the aisles of toys at Babies R Us. I love this age where he is perfectly content to look and play at the store and 9 times out of 10 has no desire to bring the toys home.

{Loved seeing Garrett take the lead with Owen at the zoo. This is definitely his place.}

I remember spending a good hour once a week or so with Garrett in the aisles of Target doing the same thing. Back then I just thought that Garrett was extremely content with the things he had and was so proud of my great parenting. Now I realize its just the age where there seems to be a disconnect that the toys at the store can actually go home.

{The 4th of July at the club. This is so very Owen.}

When I asked Owen if he wanted Mickey Mouse (a DVD) for the car he was passionate about his "No!". However seeing that not only 20 minutes before he was asking for Mickey Mouse in the car and I was trying to explain that we only had Elmo I snuck it in the cart further justifying the purchase with the $25 gift card I had in my wallet.

{Me in all my mama glory with Travis. As tired as I was here I feel like I was beaming.}

Later I would very much appreciate my decision to nurse Travis in the Mother's Room at Babies R Us instead of squeezing in another errand.

{My first meal out with all three by myself.}

On our way home from camp the boys were h.u.n.g.r.y. and requested a Whataburger. Unfortunately instead of heading to the one closest to our house I picked the one in the most efficient spot relative to our drive. Yeah, me and the rest of the lunch crowd.

{Sweet baby Travis right around the time he really started smiling.}

The drive through line was at least 10 deep and knowing Travis I knew that before we even ordered he would be hysterical. So I picked the lesser of two evils and accomodated the boys request to eat inside.

{These chunky legs get me everytime.}

So that is how I walked into a Whataburger full of men during peak lunch time with two hungry second graders, a near to nap time two  year old, and a 15 week old who had already spent two hours in his car seat (but luckily had a full belly).

{Owen fighting nap. This happened alot this summer with us off schedule running around with Garrett & Owen getting overtired.}

Looking back ordering was the calmest part of our adventure but I remember thinking at the time "What have I gotten myself into to? Well, too late to turn back now."

{Travis and I at VBS. I was so proud that I pulled off volunteering with him.}

While I finished ordering the older boys had free reign at the soda machine and Owen was watching and taking notes.

{Owen adores cars right now. Love these little feet.}

By the time it was his turn to get a drink he had learned enough by watching the older boys to understand that he could make drinks come by pushing the lever and was determined , as two year olds tend to be, to do it himself. I was putting the lid on his cup with my right hand as he gingerly sat on the edge of the counter reinforced only with my hip since my left arm was carrying Travis (he began his protest of the car seat shortly after we placed our order) when I heard a voice behind me.

{Soaking in snuggles.Sigh.}

The voice said "I've been watching you and was wondering how you were going to do this. Impressive." I laughed and said thank you to the faceless voice.

{The love between these two is off the charts. I didn't see this coming and was prepared for jealousy.}

By the time we got back to our table food had magically appeared. With Owen occupied, so I thought, Travis & I went to get my drink. When we came back the older boys faces told me I needed to look carefully at Owen. My food loving boy had decided to check out Mama's lunch and the top half of my burger was on the booth seat and the bottom half was on the floor.

{Travis & I dancing to Something Like Olivia by John Mayer. With all three boys we've had several of these quiet moments together while I was home on maternity leave.}

Right then I had a choice. Let our chaos experienced in front of our audience take a toll on me or let the amusement of the older boys faces lift me up.

{My little fish. This was the summer of the turtle. Next summer we'll tackle swimming lessons when I don't have an infant in tow.}

I laughed and laughed. I welcomed Garrett's friend to our circus and we all laughed.

{Marking chores off your list is always better with little helpers.}

For some reason, it escapes me at this point, the kind man that initially took our order came to our table. When he realized what happened to my lunch he got me another cheesburger, no onions with ketchup instead of mustard.

{Travis' three month picture. His eyes kill me.}

They bring out the best in me.

Monica

This post is a series of posts that highlights my reflections on maternity leave and my thoughts leading up to going back to work. You can read all of the posts in the series here.

Looking Back & Forward | a series of pictures & words

Tonight we were able to visit with old friends from Kentucky, their four year old son and five week old daughter. Visiting with old friends & meeting new family members are two (of many) things I love.

{Travis making friends with the turtles in a onesie that I bought for him, something rare in the house of hand me downs.}

It was such a good visit. Everytime we have an older boy in this house I get a peek at what life will be when Travis is Owen's age and Owen is well, older. I'm very comfortable in the chaos of rowdy boys. When I imagined my family I imagined a loud house all a flurry with activity. How fitting the Lord gave me three boys. I think I'll have exactly what I wished for.

{Garrett & Mitch on our 10th anniversary after watching Garrett hit his first home run ever. The perfect way to spend this day & best present ever.}

As we peeked at their baby girl in all her sweet feminine glory we laughed that pink will never grace this house. I giggle when people urge me that I need a fourth so I can get "my girl".

{Travis on his quilt made by me.}

With Garrett I really didn't care either way. I had no expectations set and was excited when Mitch was excited that it was a boy. With Owen I was scared to death of a girl and was relived when we found out he was a boy. With Travis my heart was open to a girl but when the doctor told us it was a boy I felt my heart do a jump for joy. I giggle when people urge me that I need a girl because I've never felt that I needed a girl.

{Goofing off with Garrett & Travis, one of many extended arm shots.}

What struck me last night was what a big difference there is between 5 weeks and 15 weeks in a baby's life. Crazy that we were there only 10 weeks ago. Time goes so fast.

{Garrett's essence captured, this is how I want to remember him this summer. One of my favorite pictures ever. Love this child so much.}

In 10 more weeks we'll be gearing up for his first Halloween and he'll be approaching his six month birthday. That really is hard to digest.

{Travis & I at one of many of Garrett's baseball games.}

Travis is my last baby. When I think of all the "lasts" we have encountered in 10 weeks it is bittersweet. I am so fortunate to have had this time at home with him.

{Owen "surfing" with Mitch. He was so proud of himself.}

This week marks yet another last. Our last week at home full time. Bittersweet.

{A sweet friend captured me unguarded. One of my favorite pictures of the summer.}

Our visit with friends tonight was well timed and served as a reminder to hold this little baby a little bit tighter and a little bit longer because he is growing so fast. They are all growing.so.fast.

{Photobooth at the Dallas Zoo a long standing tradition with my boys and totally worth the $5.}

Thanks for reading friends.

Monica

This post is a series of posts that highlights my reflections on maternity leave and my thoughts leading up to going back to work. You can read all of the posts in the series here.